The Practical Guide to Slow Mothering: Part Two
If you've ever craved a slower way of life and mothering, this series is for you. Even amidst the sometimes chaotic days of toddler tantrums, work-life balance, and trying to get out the door in the morning, get dinner on the table in the evening, and keep the house looking somewhat put together in between, it is possible to find moments of stillness.
This article is part two of a three-part series. Read the other parts:
The Practical Guide to Slow Mothering: Part Two (this article)
The Practical Guide to Slow Mothering: Part Three (coming soon)
The softer, slower, more seasonally aligned aesthetic you see online is accessible to you too. Finding it may be a slow journey in itself, but it is a worthy one.
Start with your Mindset around Slow Living
You can rationalize why slowing down isn't possible for you in this season, or you can rationalize why it is critically important to pursue. You get to choose now, and you get to choose again every single day.
If you've found yourself choosing the former on repeat, go back to Part One of this series and adopt at least one of the mindset shifts described there. Try the shift on for a week or two and see where you land. Do you feel more or less drawn to start taking tactical steps toward slowing down?
Six Practical Actions for Slowing your Pace of Life and Motherhood
I put together a list of simple actions you can start implementing throughout your life to calm the chaos and lean into a slower pace. My hope is these actions will help you feel more present with yourself and your kids and in your experience of motherhood.
The suggestions below are just that: suggestions. Maybe you already implement some of these actions or they just don't align with your vision for a slower motherhood. Take what works and leave the rest.
I recommend starting with just one action. The last thing you need when looking to calm your lifestyle is a new list of tasks that'll stress you out even more. You're committing to a journey, not another task list.
1. Give your phone a permanent spot.
There's no time drain like a quick check on your texts or to do list that spirals into an email-response marathon or a doom-scrolling session. Set up a space in your home where your phone belongs, because it certainly doesn't belong in your hand!
Think about when phones were attached to the wall via cord. Pick a spot where your phone belongs, ensure it has an outlet nearby so you can charge it there, and commit to only using your phone in that spot, as if it were in fact secured to the wall. (Some people actually tether it to the wall via a chain!)
The permanent spot doesn't have to look fancy. I'd love to get a nice shelf or basket to put on the wall in the kitchen near my current phone spot, but right now, it's just a small box that we happened to have lying around and now lives on top of our shoe shelf by the door. When I toss my phone in the box, I tend to completely forget about it until I genuinely need it for something.
The mental capacity that becomes available when you're not devoting moment after moment to glancing down at your phone screen or just checking on one thing is incredible. It frees up the space to pay attention to what's going on right in front of you, which is often your kids being adorable!
Bonus: Take note of the times you feel you need to reach for your phone and consider whether there is an analog alternative you can set up for that task. For example, if you need your phone for the time, thrift a clock (or a few) to eliminate that attachment to your device. Or, keep a notebook handy to write down questions your kids have that you would normally Google immediately. Either look it up for them later, or search for the answers together in books at home or the library.
2. Take up a cozy hobby.
Whether it's crochet, embroidery, puzzling, reading, or coloring, cozy hobbies are all the rage. And for good reason! They get your mind off the rush of the day and focus it on one simple task.
Depending on your kids' ages, some classic cozy hobbies may be difficult to focus on while minding their playtime as well. I've found that mending clothes, preparing cloth for sewing projects, working on embroidery and cross-stitch projects, and puzzling are easy to do while my toddler colors or plays independently. This month, I am learning to crochet, which is another hobby touted as easier to work into mom life.
The key with taking up a cozy hobby, especially one that occupies your hands and mind, is knowing that interruptions are inevitable. I often need to verify a crayon's color, remind my toddler of which letter magnet he's holding, or put my project down to be tackled or "fly" my son around.
The goal of a cozy hobby is not to turn your attention fully away from your kids. It's to play, explore, and create alongside them.
3. Commit to going outside as part of your daily routine.
There's no better teacher than nature when it comes to learning to live rhythmically and with the seasons. Commit to going outside every day.
If this activity seems daunting, remember, you don't have to make it a full outing to the park or pool every single day. Your commitment can be taking a lap around the yard as the sun rises, eating one meal outside, or doing your family walk around the block after dinner.
Aim to make this commitment screen- and audio-free. Rooting into what's happening in nature requires focus on just that. Use your eyes, ears, and nose (and maybe your senses of touch too!) to take in the natural happenings in your yard or neighborhood.
If your outside commitment includes involves your kids coming along, encourage their exploration as well. Take the time to let them watch an ant cross the sidewalk or pick a flower. Stop and smell the roses!
4. Do your self-care routine.
Yes, I know it's easy to just skip right over your self-care routine. But it's a critical part of developing your own nervous system regulation skills so you can show up as the mom you want to be.
Plus, it creates an internal positive feedback loop: you commit to your self-care routine, you do it, you show up the way you want to show up in your life, and you recommit to the routine because of how great it made you feel. That energy then starts to seep into other parts of your life. If you committed to this self-care routine, what other aspects of your life and motherhood might you be able to shift into something that feels better?
There's a fine line between a self-care routine that makes you feel great and one that starts to feel like another task list (read: burden). Before you take action on this suggestion, get clear on what could really support you in your routine, either in the morning or evening, and commit to just one or two self-care rituals. As time goes on, integrate more as you see fit.
5. Enjoy your morning beverage at home.
Dumping your coffee into a to go mug and sprinting out the door on the regular? I've been there, too. But the art of putting together your morning beverage just the way you like it and actually taking the time to savor it is a daily treat you can own.
I'm a year-round warm and cozy beverage kind of girl, but whether you're taking your coffee, matcha, or herbal tea hot or iced, use the preparation time to focus on how that drink will improve your morning. Then, sit down and allow it.
Try this 2-minute Warm Beverage Pause Meditation to support your focus and presence before a busy day.
6. Embrace a slower post-bedtime routine.
How does your evening look after the kids are all soundly sleeping? If you're watching TV, scrolling Instagram, or scrubbing the house clean, it might be time to rethink how that time could be allocated.
Think about activities that would feel particularly nourishing after a long, busy day. Can you integrate a cozy hobby or a bit of self care into your evening? Start the process of restructuring your evening routine into something that feels supportive, not draining or a total brain number.
To get started, examine the activities that currently fill your post-bedtime evening routine. You might be able to stop doing them altogether (*cough* doom-scrolling *cough*) or adjust how you're tackling them, like asking the kids to help with cleanup after dinner so you're not burdened with an after hours kitchen reset.
Also consider integrating tasks that would support your future self, like packing your lunch for work and sticking it in the fridge so it's ready to go or laying out your clothes for the next day. These activities can improve mindfulness as you focus on the task at hand. They also reinforce the muscle you're building around slower days, as simple organization and preparedness can eliminate feelings of rush and overwhelm.
More Ways to Ease the Overwhelm
The online yoga studio for busy, working moms seeking a slower way of life offers monthly pre-recorded yoga and meditation you can use to sink into a slower pace, plus a slow down framework where you can restructure your most overwhelming challenges into peaceful, rhythmic routines that support you and your family.
Two-minute Reset Meditations for Routine Calm Days includes ten completely free two-minute meditations for you to capture a moment of calm right now, without spending an hour at the yoga studio or taking paid leave.
The Mama Naturalist on my website and Substack is a space where I share both conceptual and practical guidance on slowing down, connecting to nature, and living seasonally.
Mindful Moms Digest offers exclusive yoga and meditation classes, nature stories from a wildlife biologist (me!), and free, supportive resources including links back to every blog post for busy, working moms journeying toward a slower, more seasonal way of life.
Cultivate Calm Mornings is a structured series of three yoga workshops that supports you in transforming your morning routine from chaotic to calm.
